Six beautiful manners in Sweden
"Creole woman" by Dagmar Glemme
Six beautiful manners in Sweden
Living in a country also means immersing yourself in its way of life. I offer you in six-four-two (briefly), six beautiful Swedish manners.
- Keep your word
- Take off your shoes...
- Thank you for the invitation
- Thanks for the meal
In Sweden if you are not punctual you will be excluded. The motto is “Sverige i tiden”, “Sweden through time”. It is written on the Swedish krona. If you have a date with a Swede and you're late, no apology, no improvement, no forgiveness will get you out of there. You will be classified: he or she is not on time.
Planning is important. It's a big country with few people, so planning helps them know what they really want, aim for, visualize and achieve.
For a Swede “Giving your word is sacred”. Until now, when the Swedes of my generation promise, they keep their promise. They only have one word. And bragging is not fashionable at all. The more influential a Swede, the simpler he is. Only the act defines you
It is good practice to take off your shoes before entering a houseThanking the host or hostess at the end of a meal is a daily courtesy.
When you are invited to a dinner, a buffet or a party, it is absolutely necessary to call or send a small card written: “Tack för senast!” or simply “Thank you for the invitation!”Adélala! (the cry of the Creole merchant who demands attention!)
Maxette with a creole coaff and a gwoka
Beautiful Creole Manners
We all know that being a Creole is also the foundation of a way of life, hence the most beautiful manners of the Creole court. The beautiful Creole manners want us to give each other attention, to do each other good and to see the best side of each other. Prudence is not cowardice. We all have a good side and a bad side. Balancing this pair is another matter.
Whisper: When someone shows you their Jekyll face, never try to see their Hyde face. Why? Because like Bluebeard's wife, you just might find what you're looking for. We shuffle the dominoes pell-mell before playing them but they are not played just anyway. There are rules to respect. Follow with me the eight fundamental Creole rules... always with one mind.
1. First rule of beautiful Creole manners.
Hello shows you the way. Salvation is very important in Creole society. It is a mark of reverence to the spirit in the person. The conjugation of the verb to greet, initiates to the beautiful manners. The one you greet, shows you the way with joy. In the past, if you met a person on your way, you didn't greet them, and then you realized that you couldn't find your way, and you asked them, they sent you away forever.
Never be afraid to show the daily sign of respect to those around you. Attention that does not require you to date or have a long conversation. It's just a... be careful!
Previously, this lack of friendliness was an affront. Some adults could dedicate to the devil those who did not greet them, because it was a refusal to recognize their existence. And if you denied existence to a being, you had no right to exist yourself. A greeting opens the heart and the doors. Wishing a good day not only embellishes the day of others but first of all your day. In all Creole countries, when your eyes fall into someone's eyes, sometimes just a nod or a little wink in a crowd is enough to signify to the other their right to well-being.
Hello sir !
Good day Mrs !
Good day ladies and gentlemen !
Hello miss !
2. Beware of the second rule: Always be in a good mood!
Whatever your mental state, always be in a good mood! It's not healthy to wake up in a bad mood, angry at people who haven't done anything to you. If you wake up with your left foot, go for a walk, swim, yell in the woods or pray to God etc. but do not vent your rage on others.
If you're sad, that's another thing. When you rage and criticize those around you for no reason, not only will you needlessly make enemies who may seek revenge, but you will also feel bad about yourself.
It is better to wonder why we are really angry than to blame others for even existing. More often than not, we curse others for not doing what we want them to do. Why would they do what we want, when we ourselves don't do what we want? Other times, riding on the past, we rage like dogs that have eaten wasps in rum, however, sacrificing the past to move forward is not for dogs.
Above all, no misunderstanding, please. Certainly, there are professions that we would not be able to exercise if we did not commit ourselves, so anger is sometimes the engine of commitment, that is to say that certain dissatisfactions can be manifestly creative. Intellectuals, artists, revolutionaries or politicians are often filled with anger but... they channel it intelligently in order to avoid its overflow, by expressing themselves in different ways either by writing books, songs, playing music, by conferring, by painting, sculpting etc., in the service of a cause, in order to help oneself and others to transform and move forward.
3. And here we are at the third. Knowledge always bears fruit.
Certainly, to each his own truth, but sometimes conscience enlightens us on truths that belong to all of us. Good. When we do not have the knowledge, at the slightest truth, fear seizes us and pusillanimous we retreat and like the French fury (la furia francese), we attack, invective and curse against the whole world. We often suffer from ignorance.
With two cents of savvy, we may admit that in order to obtain true freedom, the one that will free us from the new slavery that is neo-colonialism, it is sine qua non for us to fully accept ourselves with our faults and our qualities and to be attentive to the leaders of knowledge. They are there. Transformation means to recreate ourselves, to edify us, to elevate us, to magnify us. What a beautiful Creole manner!
In order to transmute, let us be vigilant to the…
4. Fourth rule: Idleness is the mother of all vices.
Work means “torture” in the Latin language, perhaps because before forming a good habit, one must strive. Effort is overcoming resistance. The opposition does not allow itself to be done willingly. If you're expecting government work these days, you'll be in shit. If you're a dog shoemaker, their fleas and hassles will make you mean and you'll feed on peanuts, so if you're employed it's perfect, otherwise never stay idle.
When you are busy writing Creole, surfing the Internet, doing masonry, being a gravedigger, playing a musical instrument or sweeping the yard, etc. ignorance finds you immersed, focused and absorbed in what you are doing and leaves you alone. Peace is powerful.
In all times, there have always been all kinds of small jobs: from “fliktoxeur” (a sort of mosquito killer from the 1950s) from mosquitoes to the watchman at the corner of the street. The main thing is to do what gives strength to your spirit and to perfect, to improve, and since we are dust, to subscribe requires a good breath of creativity. Above all, you must not procrastinate. The condition is to make your activities your passion. Passion does not require money at all, but desire. Desire is a drive that holds you to what you are doing. No achievement takes place without desire and without passion.
Passion is omnipotence. Let's repeat the bel-air (air of gwoka): rooted in what you do, you work effortlessly, simply, naturally, elegantly, all the time, without difficulty until you are able to perform it without thought. : it is talent. But before reaching this stage, you have to "kyenbé rèd é pa moli" (hold on!).
Kyenbé rèd é pa moli is a whole Creole technique of concentration where attention, calm and faith claim an assiduous presence of mind in order not to lose the north. It is in this state that one metamorphoses into a great spirit. A mutation not without painful and patient work. It is not easy. Nothing is free. Commitment has its setbacks, it must overcome many obstacles, including the temptation of money.
Again no misunderstanding! When one is creative, one does not see misery even if it is obvious. Knowledge, knowledge, the light open your eyes so that you can be what you want to be, do what you want and have everything you desire.
Hey Knowledge always pays off,
let's pick them up!
To live well,
you have to learn to live well.
To learn to live well,
you have to find its source.
And our source is... within us,
this is Creole savoir-vivre!
5. The fifth rule. Give what you have to give without letting go of your "kangn" (without complaining).
Complaints are expressions of discontent that turn into reproaches that are residues of disappointment. And what is disappointment if not the resentment felt because others do not do what we expect of them, precisely because we do not do what they expect of us? Thus "la kangn" is a solid circle of pettiness, bad faith and laziness. If you give just to get back, you are cheating yourself. And if you give with the intention of reproaching “After all that I have done for you, him or her...” you will be more generous if you don't give anything. Which does not prevent one hand from washing the other, that is to say from helping each other, knowing clearly that no one helps anyone without helping themselves. True generosity requires the gift of reception, namely that it is not the one to whom you do good who will return it to you. A miser sees what he gives and not what is given to him.
Magnanimity is admitting that all the riches of the universe belong to us. Ask and you shall receive is a beautiful word. If you ask God, he will send a human being. As to who, an alert mind is essential, since only God knows.
No misunderstanding. It is impossible to give what you do not have. What you give is what you will be given. And even the poorest always has something to give. Let's gladly give a smile, a support, a good thought, an encouragement, a nice word... Creole. I give you a little wink.
6. Take the sixth: Thanks enriches.
There are those who believe that thanking someone is their duty. Let's go! No one owes anyone anything. We are under no obligation. The first sound a Creole baby learns is “SSSI”. Thank you is not a word that is only said to please others, but feel the strength that seizes you when someone says to you wholeheartedly “Thank you!”
Thanking someone is in fact thanking oneself for having attracted that for which we are thanking. This feeling of gratitude creates reasons for giving thanks. And better, the more we thank for what we already have, the less we think about what we do not have and the more we enrich ourselves. This is Creole wealth! Do not believe at all what I write! Experience it yourself! Observe and let go, relax in order to take the turn of the septh rule!
Thank you !
7. And here it is! The ox defecates to dirty the savannah but it only dirties its behind.
Wanting to smear others, you smear yourself. We only reap what we sow. All our actions generate a driving force. Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you! relates to the science of logic. He who speaks ill of others to you is the same who speaks ill of you, is a rule within a rule.
This consistency reminds me of my mathematics teacher, Miss Louise Micaux, who said: “You don't understand French. I will explain it to you in your language. A theorem is a principle. A principle is a cause. The cause is the why it is done like that. There is indeed a reason why it is done like this and not like that. If you find the cause, you will find the solution. It's not more complicated than that." As one makes one's bed, one lies down. When you know that, there is no problem.
8. In conclusion. Eighth rule: Keep it simple.
Life is simple. We make it our duty to complicate it. Ka-w vlé fè? What to do? is the Creole sigh of compassion. In order to inculcate in ourselves the way of life of our ancestors, we must first cram ourselves into the noggin that all of us, rich, poor, aborted, animals, big, small, learned, stupid, good, cursed, blessed, good for nothing, all races, all colors... all of us on the coconut husk that is the earth, yes! we are all in the same canoe. It is unification! As beautiful as the shoes are, they walk on the ground. We don't have to associate with everyone, but we must respect each one of us.
My intention? Here and now, it is that at least one person, when she reads me, says to herself “I know all that. There is nothing new in these rules. This writer teaches us nothing.”
Indeed, I am not complicated. I do not invent anything. I simply acquire what is there, has always been there and will always be there like l in LA, and I make my little cooking in order to serve it to you hot. Come what may. Here it is. With ease.
Thanks for reading me!
Maxette Olsson (writer)
Stockholm 22 september 2004
(Free translation from french by Malte)